****SPOILER ALERT****
If you watch these shows and aren't caught up, STOP READING NOW. I cannot STAND it when someone tells me something about a show I watch that I'm not caught up on yet. I avoided hearing about the big shocking secret in The Crying Game like the PLAGUE, only to have it nonchalantly revealed to me by a damn radio host. *sigh*
I DVR everything I watch because I can't watch ANYTHING in real time. I don't watch daytime tv, it is boring, I'm not the father, I don't care who is getting back together with whom, and the ONE episode of Dr. Oz that I watched convinced me that he's just out to frighten people into not drinking apple juice. I don't even watch the news. So during the evenings (sometimes during the day if I have a chance), I catch up on my shows.Last night I watched the season finales of Hannibal, The Blacklist and Modern Family.
First up, The Blacklist. WHAT THE HELL?!?! You can't kill off everybody! First Meera gets her throat slit by a thug, then Cooper gets garroted in his car, then Tom gets shot by Lizzie. What. The. F*ck. Meera is DEFINITELY dead. There's no getting around that. There's no, "Well maybe she..." No. She didn't. She is kaputsville. Cooper's hand moved while he lay in his hospital bed. Telling us that he what, might recover? Probably. He'll probably be back with a limp and trusty cane. And then there's Tom. Good ole' Tom. Shot by Lizzie, OBVIOUSLY dead and then they show us where his body WAS. What? I'm sorry NBC, but there is no saving Tom. Tom is one done turkey. And the climax?! The scene we were left with?! Reddington is Lizzie's father! Wait. Lemme sarcastically gasp at that moment everyone saw coming since episode 1. I give your finale resounding "Meh".
Next up, Hannibal! The show that has gotten so freakin' weird that not even the writers know exactly what the hell is going on anymore. The cinematographer has just decided that he's so f'ing confused that he'll just film crap falling in slow motion and fit that in the storyline somehow. Falling cups, tears, blood, glass, rain, knives, papers. Come ON. I understand and like dramatic effect, but this is getting a little nutso. But that's not what bothered me. Anyone who watches Hannibal is used to things happening sloooooooooooowly. What bothered me was that they killed EVERYONE. EVERYBODY IS DEAD. Jack? Dead. Abigail Hobbs? Resurrected and then: dead. Will Graham? Dead. Alana? Ummmmmm, dead? Probably. MAY-be. She was still breathing as Hannibal walked away. Perhaps it's all led up to this. Perhaps Alana will now be the new Clarice. I swear to God, if I hear anybody in that series say, "It puts the lotion.." I'ma freak out in a serious kung-fu style. That is the most over-used expression EVER. There were other lines in that movie, people! Memorize one of those! And no, not the one about fava beans and Chianti either. That one's played out too.
Will was the good guy, but told Hannibal that Jack was on to him. But, wha...? And now everyone's dead. Ta-DA! There seems to be a defining moment that I missed where Will goes bat-shit and works undercover to catch Hannibal. They never actually covered that. It was just suggested. And apparently Jack was just gonna overlook that whole Will-murdered-a-guy-and-turned-his-dead-body-into-a-creepy-saber-toothed-tiger-thing. Who doesn't overlook things like that in the great scheme of things? I know I do. And Hannibal flies away with his therapist Gillian Anderson! That is just honestly bug shit crazy right there. He talked one of her patients into trying to kill her and now they're off to the French Riviera. Yep. Of course. well, I mean if one can overlook the dead guy cat thing... Perhaps this plot is too complex for me. Perhaps I'm just not as intelligent as I think I am and this story is beyond the meager reaches of my limited understanding. Or perhaps they just need to make things a little more clear and fluent. Overall, I cussed at this finale a lot. A LOT.
Modern Family! I LOVE this show. I really, honestly LOVE this show. Mostly because I'm a cross between Cam and Phil. Scary huh? Ayuh. Throw in a little of Claire and a dash of Jay for good measure. I love this show because it's realistic. Sure, they're financially WAY better off than I am, but the kinds of things they go through are real. In this 2 part finale, where Jay has finally said how uncomfortable he is with the idea of a gay wedding, he and Mitchell are at odds. Jay is an old school guy with old school values and his feelings don't surprise me a bit. They don't even offend me. Why? Because that's how life was back in his time and we can't force people to change. We can hope, we can dream, we can push and shove, we can cry and protest, but until we reach a certain evolutionary point, we don't change. Change is just another word for evolve. And not everyone can or will evolve. We need to be tolerant of those people too.
As a woman who believes wholeheartedly in God, I am also a woman who has done enough research on religion to know that God did not sit down and write the bible. The bible was picked over and edited until it said what people of the time wanted it to say. The Romans were sexually active with both genders and thought nothing of it. But the Christians wanted to steer people as far away from Roman practices as possible. Henceforth, homosexuality is a sin. Although it doesn't ever actually SAY that, it certainly implies it. But again, I digress.
After a ridiculous amount of hoopla and venue changes, the wedding appears to be about to take place at Cam and Mitchell's house. But Jay, feeling bad, and realizing how unfair he's been, calls his country club and sets up the wedding there. He even walks Mitchell down the aisle. You bet your ass I cried. Good season finale guys! You keep that up!
So two nay's and a yay! I didn't care for the obvious conclusion of Blacklist or the overwrought slow-mo season finale of Hannibal, but Modern Family brightened it all up. All three have been renewed for another season, and we'll see if Hannibal can tighten it's surrealistic belt just a little.
Next up, my opinion on BBC's zombie, uh, partially deceased syndrome sufferers, comedy/drama In The Flesh. Stay tuned!
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